recepticle=frequently asked questions, such as 'who are you?', and 'what are you doing in my house?'
(note: for a more in-depth faq on indextwo and how it all works, check the site faq)
q: hey. a/s/l?
a: 27/m/uk. u? ha. ha.
q: who are you?
a: i'm the guy that designed that jedi quiz. there's a better than evens chance that you are here for that very reason.
q: what do you do?
a: i am a former ninja assassin, and i now run my own web design / new media agency. sometimes i even get paid. i'm also a musician. i never get paid for that.
q: why have you got a whole site about yourself? haven't you heard of myspace?
a: my blog predates tom's heap of coldfusion kung-fu by a whole 18 months. i simply saw an oversaturated clique where dorks with blogs were getting free stuff from their amazon wishlist, and i said "me too!"
q: how does this site work? is it magical?
a: flove. love. and flash. flash and love.
q: this is great! will you design my site?
a: the answer to that question lies in your wallet. if you are prepared to hand over a number of suitcases containing unmarked, non-sequential bills, then clicky clicky!
q: you're all "la-di-dah" about how great your flash site is, but all i see is a crappy plain text file. whatup wit dat?
a: well, then you're obviously viewing the plain, dull, digestive-biscuit html page that gets loaded into by my lovely, swooshy, chocolate-hobnob flash site. there are links to all my included files hidden on the front page that cleverly hoodwinks google into spidering all my crap. so, that's whatup wit dat.
q: how can i get hold of you?
a: one of two ways: you can email me, aim me, or you can shout my name really loudly and hope that i hear you.
q: what's orange and sounds like a parrot?
a: a carrot.
q: nothing appears in the centre of the page. what's wrong with it?
a: if that's the case, then you clearly don't have the flash plug-in, and you're viewing a crappy plain html file.
if you do have the flash plug-in, then clicky. if it doesn't work in your browser, then that's because your browser sucks ass and you obviously don't have any plug-ins because you're running opera, or some other dorky piece of crap.
q: are we done?
a: yes. you may go.