recepticle=Tuesday, April 04, 2006
the smell of burning windfarms
i only just realised something; if blogger had been able to hold onto it's blogs-of-note bladder just a few more weeks, you would all be staring at the shiny end of a whole new indextwo.
that's right - after sixteen months of luminous, pupil-shrinking pinkosity, i have a new design waiting in the wings. but not just a new design; ho no! it suffers from the following decadent but ultimately worthless 'features':
- a flashpet (either kitten, bear or weasel) chases your mouse around the screen. if you do not come back to regularly visit and feed it, it will die, and a random animal shelter will be emailed with instructions to execute the weakest-looking animal using only matches and a spork.
- a live, dynamically-updated list of the license plates for every yellow car that drives past my house.
- an mp3 player that forces you to listen to my kind of music, and clicking anywhere near it will cause you to automatically buy the album from amazon and have it gift-wrapped.
- a funny box full of gigantic smilies that make a stupid and horrendously loud noise any time you breathe near your mouth.
...and i swear to god, at least one of those is true.
unfortunately due to work at my spangly design studio pouring in like thick, warm toffee down the forced-open throat of a chinese industrial spy being tortured by oompa loompas, i've been unable to work on it as studiously as i would have hoped... which is why i'm now holding off on a launch for the may 1 reboot. which is some stupid design thing. about rebooting photoshop. or something. i think it's next month*.
*this is me, being a comedian, after a 12-hour work day and a flapjack bar for lunch and dinner combined. this is why i need my girlfriend. otherwise i will die from sheer nutritional idiocy.
- posted by lawrie at 9:14 PM ~ comments
Monday, April 03, 2006
hello lightness, my new friend
well, feed me rohypnol, roll me over, drench me in amyl nitrate and abuse me like a giddy blonde choirboy - i'm featured on blogger's front page!
just in case your vision is comparable to that of a drunken mr. magoo wearing shades, recovering from a cocaine hangover in a closed dumpster, here it is in jumbo size. does this mean i have to update more than once a month about things other than boring dorky crap?
nutsacks.
- posted by lawrie at 9:28 PM ~ comments
Sunday, April 02, 2006
sometimes it would be easier if i just shot my own foot
have you ever heard of a sisyphean endeavour? it's the definition of something difficult and ultimately futile, and comes from the greek legend of sisyphus; a cruel king who was condemned by zeus to roll a huge boulder all the way up a steep hill, only to have it roll back down and for his task to start all over again.
i spent the last couple of days designing a fairly neat little flash toy for audioscrobbler: a swish, dynamic version of the weekly artist chart. it's got perfect gradient transparencies, it moves, and is rather spangly in general.
thinking a couple of people on the audioscrobbler site might be interested, i posted my swanky little invention on the development forum. then i realised that 99% of people never venture into the development forum because it reads too much like "dorky mcBrain's essays in dullness", so i reposted it in the general forum.
i got three replies; one person who pretty much told me to go fuck myself, and a moderator telling me off for cross-posting and closing the thread.
i can see the moderators point, and that's not why i have a problem - it's that i spend a fair amount of my spare time developing something that other people might quite enjoy, and get shot down in less than three minutes.
if you want a useless audioscrobbler contraption, clicky clicky.
- posted by lawrie at 4:24 PM ~ comments