recepticle=<b>Saturday, September 24, 2005</b><br /><br /><b>i need some quiet time</b><br />things have been crazygonuts around here, and are about to go crazygonutsier. <b>CRAZYGONUTSIER</b>.<br /><br />on wednesday i'm off on tour with <u><a href="http://www.twominutewarning.co.uk" target="_blank">two minute warning</a></u> for just over two weeks, before coming back, leaving <b>immediately</b> for disneyland paris, coming back, sleeping for three weeks, then going an tour <b>again</b> for another two weeks.<br /><br />at some point before the end of the year i also intend to go live with my awesome new philanthropic web adventure <b>TEXTURIZMONATOR-O</b>, a free resource of <i>hand-drawn</i> background patterns, either totally original or based on awesome samplers of victorian wallpaper.<br /><br />i am also contemplating the possibility of adding an auto-layout generator; for example, if you picked background texture '<b>darth vader</b>', it would automatically give you suggested table, border and text colours, as well as giving you the code to drop into your myspace profile.<br /><br />"ohmygollygosh!" i hear you shriek like a girly girl, "that's so utterly fucking generous of you! the people of earth do not deserve to suck the lumpy pus from your infected wounds!". while this is true, i feel that my hand has been somewhat forced; i'm so utterly sick to the back fucking teeth of people ripping off my code and graphics from my <u><a href="http://www.myspace.com/indextwo" target="_blank">myspace profile</a></u>, that i feel that giving the information away for free is the only way to stop it.<br /><br />the site, should it ever evolve beyond the womb of my mind, will be a subdomain of indextwo, so i need some suggestions for a name. any and all harry potter or jedi references will be frowned upon. and by 'frowned', i obviously mean 'urinated'.<br /><br /> - posted by lawrie at 5:01 PM ~ <u><a href="asfunction:loadComments,112758238132296639">comments</a></u><br /><br /><b>Friday, September 09, 2005</b><br /><br /><b>burning disaster: ten dead</b><br />i found this poem online a couple of days ago. you'll be amazed to learn that i found such a literary starburst on <b>myspace</b>, and have decided to annotate it with the thoughts and feelings that crossed my mind as i read through it; i also granted myself artistic license to break it up into stanzas so that it was vaguely tolerable, as opposed to eye-scratchingly horrific.<br /><br />===============================================<br /><br />hope u people like a peom i wrote to a freand while were talkin. <br /><b>well this already looks like it's going to be a <i>gem</i>.</b><br /><br />the nights that fall <br />,<br /><b>i often fill an otherwise empty and useless carriage break with a comma.</b><br /><br />i cant feel ur in my arms any more,<br />ive layed here cryin by ethe door,<br />ivee felt this way more this once<br /><b>oh my, a poem half-written in text shorthand? how <i>modern</i>. and illiterate.</b><br /><br />triple it and take it twice,<br />i take this razor and as i slice ,<br />tears fall like rain, <br />self centered in my pain, <br />the past ,<br />will stain my soul, <br /><b>somebody got a goffic rhyming dictionary for christmas</b><br /><br />i sleep and fall as i think of you ,<br />the time is the rastes thing i feel in side,<br /><b>zuh? 'rastes'? racism? rastas?</b><br />i feel nothing any more no self respect no more pride,<br />ive been onfied like this once <br /><b>oh, come on now. on fire? onanism?</b><br />more then twice i take this blade and<br />i tripple every slice, ive takin this time , <br /><b>for the love of god. you spelt 'triple' correctly once. why do you have to fuck it up now?</b><br />to sppek to you , you gave me<br />soemthing so much more,<br /><br /><b>at this point i think our poetic emo-goth had one shandy too many, and it tipped him over the edge. the edge of spelling.</b><br /><br />ive seen sin the the eyes of the bilnd,<br />and smelt the sin that reakcs from ur heartlless body, <br />as i feel the heat breaths hot, <br />time goes bey as the heart of <br />mines rotts were i once felt this <br />more then was and trippled this <br />were we dontt feel any thing ,<br /><br />these thigns we use to feel ,<br />the love layed in my hands,<br />like it would steal, yougave me soemthing ,,,<br />and took away more then you geivne me <br />, at the frist, is it ur point to tear others hearts<br />cuz of ur unkind thirst<br /><br /><b>dear extraordinarily bad poet, how can you type with boxing gloves on your hands?</b><br /><br />===============================================<br /><br />ironically enough, i've recently discovered a man considered by many to be the worst poet ever (discounting senor retardo, here); a scotsman called <u><a href="http://www.mcgonagall-online.org.uk/poems/pgdisaster.htm" target="_blank">william mcgonagall</a></u>, but cases for genetic screening like this one make mcgonagall seem like an unwitting genius.<br /><br />i wouldn't normally consider myself to be a meanie... but <u><a href="http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewProfile%26friendID=1994920%26Mytoken=20050903170822" target="_blank">here</a></u> is captain spastic's myspace profile. gaze in awe at the people who actually <b>like</b> his 'poetry'! swoon in wonder at his daily raping of the english language! die in horror at his inability to <b>ever</b> use any kind of puntuation, save for his horrendous misusage of the comma!<br /><br /> - posted by lawrie at 1:34 PM ~ <u><a href="asfunction:loadComments,112627317066675083">comments</a></u><br /><br />